Noob of the Month - IKMTY

Since I’m coming back with new ideas and hopefully new information I’m starting up something that’s been on the back burner for sometime. Since I have idle “writing time” here is the first installation in our “Noob of the Month” special.


You know him, you hate him, you’ve probably already ignored him. We are proud to present our ode to the...

I Know More Than You Noob – AKA IKMTY

More often than not people see a noob as someone who just doesn’t have the foggiest clue as to WTF they are doing. You’ve seen him before. He’s that warrior in cloth, or the mage who is attacking you with a dagger. He’s the guy who spends 1k on a Broken I win Button, and then spends the next month trying to fix it. If you’ve played WoW long enough you’ve run into your fair share of noobs I’m sure.

I want to discuss the most annoying of all noobs, also the king of noobs far and wide, the “I-know-more-than-you” noob. You’ll most often find this noob answering questions in trade chat. He can be found in pugs most frequently though.

The “I-know-more-than-you” noob, or IKMTY (pronounced IKE-MIGHTY), will always reveal himself during boss fights. If you suspect someone might be an IKMTY then the 100% fool proof test is to ask them how to beat a boss that might require SOME strategy.

Case in point.

The ToC instance first boss fight once you have dismounted them, you run into a Shamman (re:healer), warrior, mage combo.

Now I’m sure immediately you said, kill the healer first and foremost then pick another to nuke, probably the warrior because of his bladestorm. To most people this comes instinctually; to a noob this is as foreign as a French cowboy riding a Harley to an apple pie eating contest.

To test the noob ask him, “Hey who should we go after first and why?” If the response is anything other than “the shaman because he heals” you are dealing with a noob.

Now the difference between a regular run of the mill noob and an IKMTY noob is that the regular noob will sound something like this

Reg. Noob response – “uh, hmm, I’m not to sure, how about the mage because he can CC”

The IKMTY Noob will respond with authority, he’ll respond with conviction, he’ll respond with a solid concrete plan that sounds logical but who’s foundation is rooted in the deepest, stickiest, most disgusting pile of BS you’ll ever bare witness too.

The IKMTY Noob response – “Well you see we’re going to have to kill the mage first because of his CC abilities, mages are scary and this particular gnome mage is of the scariest variety. Someone is going to have to CC the warrior and let’s have the hunter’s pet tank the Warrior while we’re at it and then let’s use the warlock’s succ to seduce the healer. We should also spread out and if possible get out of range of our healer.”

When you attempt to tell him that’s not going to work he’ll often say “trust me, I’ve done it before”, often with a smug ass attitude that says “I KNOW MORE THAN YOU”

In noob speak the phrase “trust me, I’ve done it before,” is code for ”OMG I don’t have enough time to ALT+Tab to google this shyt, let me just make some stuff up.”

Another variation of “trust me, I’ve done it before” is “we’ll be alright as long as well do it exactly like I said”. If you hear these words you’re pretty much fukked.

The IKMTY noob also likes to “theorycraft” in his spare time. He’s the guy that when someone says in trade chat:

“What’s better for warriors, crit or strength and what’s the hit cap”

Response:
“You want to gem for Spirit to help your health regen, crit and strength only take you so far you can’t attack if you’re dead right? Hit caps is just under 45, TRUST ME, I’ve run my own tests”

Sometimes the IKMTY will even add a “dumb noob” at the end often in an attempt to throw people off the trail. When someone tries to call him out on his “theorycrafting” the IKMTY will again reach deep into his endless bag of “nega-knowledge” (this is like anti-matter but it’s KNOWLEDGE’s antithesis) and pull out some more gems tying everything together. Most people simply ignore him at this point. But for the true noob the IKMTY is like a guild leader. In fact some of you might have had the pleasure of joining a guild with an IKMTY leader, for some strange reason the IKMTY breed tends to gravitate towards power or assumed power and when respectable power cannot be attained they will “create” power by forming their own guild. If you find you’ve wiped 8 times in VC or wailing caverns chances are you’re being lead by an IKMTY.

Nomorenoob would like to salute the IKMTY for providing us with entertainment, YES, we are talking about you behind your back, NO we are not laughing with you, YES you are now ignored, NO I don’t have gold you can “borrow” for your repair bill.

Here’s to you IKMTY, may I happen upon you in a BG (I’d say arena but I’m more than positive you’ll never make it to 80)

Share your personal storys involving IKMTY...

Noob of the month and a status update...

Well I’m still not “officially back” just yet. Turns out getting my account back is going to be a smidge more complicated than anticipated I’ve been fooling around with a friends account, he’s a warrior, to get the feel of things again. It’s amazing how much you miss in such a short time. It’s also amazing how fast you can get back to smacking people around too >:)


I’d hoped to be back talking about my exploits in finding a new guild (I know I was dropped for inactivity...4 months and all of a sudden I’m a nobody), but like I said plans are pushing that back...oh plus I’m getting married on Thursday so a big WOOT on that.

I did find some stuff I’d written back in my hay day that I’m going to start posting up to get the “creative juices” flowing again.

Tomorrow I’ll post up a series I was going to dub “noob of the month” were we would pay homage to a particular breed of noob every month, we’ll start of with the IKMTY (pronounced Ike-Mighty) noob this week. You know him, you’ve played with him, you probably have him on ignore. Stay tuned though.

AND CAN SOMEONE PLEASE SEND ME SOME NEW PATCH NOTES...for some reason my browser at work blocks them. I would greatly appreciate any help in this department.

Send to blackthought@opendomain.ws

See you all soon,

Blackthought

Oh and if you’re new to nomorenoob.com stick around you’ll find something you need I’m sure of it.

Is this thing on...

Holy crap warrior friends and friendetts. Ok a quick breakdown of where in the hell has blackthought been. No I'm not dead. No I wasn't ambushed by a flock of ice mages who were getting upset with getting pwned. YES, my son spilled a big ass cup of soda on my computer, NO I haven't been able to log in. MAYBE I will be back. More than likley I will be back. Here's the kicker though I'm still not in 100%. I am so out of the loop right now that I simply just need some time to get my barings again. So that being said I'm waiting for some funds to hit the account to get access back up and running. In the meantime I'm refreshing all my add-ons and will hopefully get back in. I'll admit it will not be on the same level, but what I will get back at doing is providing info like I had been in the past. Sorry for the complete drop out hopefully we still have a few loyal readers. At the very minimum again i'll simply post gleened warrior information here. I'll be responding to posts. Drop me a line and let me know how things are going or any news.
blackthought@opendomain.ws

Talk to you soon

Patch 3.2.2 - ArP Nerf...Why?

http://wow-warrior-forum.webmmorpg.net/general-warrior-info-f6/armor-penetration-shall-be-nerfed-t33.htm#190

As per the discussion in our forums ArP is once again coming under the knife. And not just under any old kitchen knife, but under the Nerf Knife. It’s just like the Nerf bat...only it’s a knife... *shrug*

If you read the forum you see that ArP is GOING TO GET NERFED. Yeah that’s right nerfed. With a capital WTF.

All that money you spent on ArP gems or all that grinding you did is going to be for naught.

Here’s my questions, I’m going to try not to get so QQ about it, I’m going to stay calm, collected, well thought out, organized So what I’m going to do is address blizzards development team.

W...T...F is your problem. Does your big brother play a warrior and you play a...hell I don’t know because everything that ArP gave us was to work clothy and even that boost in ArP wasn’t enough in most cases... Did big brother abuse you in your youth so where now you have to take it out on him via programming? I’m at a loss for words (ask my wife this does not happen often) with the utter BULLSHYT blizzard has thrown at warriors over the course of the last several patches...leave us ALONE!!!

I’m all for change. I like Change, I embrace change, I use change to get soda, me and change go way back, but seriously COME ON where does it stop. Are warriors really doing THAT much damage? I mean seriously are we? Who are these warriors that are demolishing the DPS charts? When you say you feel Melee is doing too much damage you can’t seriously be talking about warriors can you...I mean seriously can you? Further more you specifically said “felt” ...yeah “felt.”

Not we’ve run tests, not we’ve had an extensive case study performed...no you ‘felt”. This leads me to further believe you play some type of caster...probably a Bloodelf, you are probably also very feminine. (not intended to offend females)

If you have run tests please stop running all your tests with BiS warriors...most warriors arne’t getting BiS, hell most PEOPLE in generally don’t have BiS equipment. Does it piss you off that much that a caster is not the one doing the most damage in your tests? FFS Dk’s went several patches until a nerf came, we can’t go several weeks without getting destroyed and at the rate you’re firing off content lately who can keep up with getting BiS stuff anyhow?

What does this change really mean? Now instead of Stacking ArP we’ll go back to stacking Strength? What really have you changed?

I’m not gonna say I’m gonna stop playing, cause obviously I’m not, but seriously W...T...F... are you doing?

Are we being collectively punked? Will Ashton be coming out with a camera crew in org to tell us JK ArP still is worth something?

Do I also see a buff in Ret AoE; because that’s needed right? /facepalm

Well played on the fan of knives nerf...there see I’m not TOTALLY unreasonable.

Warriors ode to healers - Adventures in AV

Well welcome back WOWers. A sudden “family vacation” to the piney forest of Easter Arizona took me away this weekend so little to nothing was actually done in the WOW world, unfortunately I’ll have to “revisit” some stuff from last week first to get the “creative” juices flowing. So without further delay a post that should have gone out Friday.

Warriors ode to healers

Let me highlight THE biggest problem wow warriors have. It’s not blinking-freezing mages, it’s not dotting fearing locks, it’s not even cowardly bubbling pallys; while each of these might prove frustrating a warrior’s single biggest problem is the inability to heal themselves.

What little healing we do have is usually contingent upon first TAKING damage or being in a spec that gives us the ability to heal 6% of our life, but also increases the damage we take by at least that much, can I get a HoooRAAyyyyyy for warrior healing?....no?...ok I understand.

So our single biggest weakness is healing, and as an outlying byproduct death.

The easiest way around this little problem is to get a healer u can call on to help you pvp it up. A warrior alone is a force to be reckoned with, a warrior with a healer is damn near unstoppable.

Case in point.

AV Last Thursday
I need some ghetto pvp upgrades, so does my “feral” buddy. Blackthought gets an idea-er.

Blackthought: “Hey how’s about you heal me while I hit people in the face”
“feral” Buddy: “uh sure ok”
Blackthought: “awesomeness I’ll que up”

Av pops up and we go in and do the buff up thing, gate opens and away we go.

As a hordy we most often fly for Balinda first then try to rush to end the game and end up losing, so my healer buddy and me decided to slow thing up for the offensive push by being a general nuisance in one of the towers, for the first time in about a year there were actually more than 2 people playing defense. Interesting I say to myself. Even more interesting is the fact that of the 10 or so other people sitting with me playing defense a smidge over half are healing spec. Not just some guy tossing a heal from time to time and then dpsing, no I mean full on, speced out, geared out HEALING SPEC.

The first wave of ally hit the tower I’m in. A quick face smash session and ally are gone, they’ve managed to cap the opposite tower and are working on the GY in the horde base. A quick map check tells me that some quick thinking horde has recapped the GY outside the horde base and the next nearest base is ALL the way back at the beginning for allies. So I forgo the north tower and head over to help the 3 healers defending the GY.

Ohhh my is it a sight to behold. Two shammy’s and a druid vs. like 8 other people.

There’s chain heals and hots going every which way, tree’s running around wildly, spells and AOE falling everywhere.

So in comes Blackthought and feral buddy to the rescue. The healer’s have been smart enough to not let anyone cap the flag.

So true to form the moment I rush in to smack the hunter EVERYONE decides that I’m gonna make the best target. Normally they’d be correct, this time however with 4 healers at my back I turn into a killing machine. I target the 79 guys first (3 of them) they drop; I suspect it’s because of my pure awesomeness, that or the 7k crits their eating up, I’ll let you be the judge on that one.

I’m able to get down 3 more guys before a swarm of horde res and we faceroll the guys. We then walk over to the tower, which is quickly taken back. NOW we march on.

Mid field we run into another bottle neck of sorts. ALL the ally that have died and ressed are now trying to make it past this point. There’s around 10-15 horde up north attacking the ally main camp now. We’ve taken that GY and ally have taken one closer to mid field.

AV has always been my favorite battle ground. Great killing, lots of AOE, fast, great honor.

I have a macro that says “Heal me I’m going in”, it was created for AV specifically. I spamm it and charge into about 6 ally. I hit my bladestorm and we’re off to the races. Boom, boom,boom, ally dropping like flies, literally like flies. In comes another ally wave, about 8 strong. I manage to put the hurting on 2-3 of them, but still end up dying. I suspect I LOS’ed or out ranged my healers.

I’m able to rush back in and get things going again, a brisk ride on my mount has reset my bladestorm CD and I’m tearing into these guys again. This time I make sure to clear a path for the healers. I’m unable to cap the GY so literally ever 30 seconds or so 8 more ally come up and get mowed down.
This goes on for around 3-4 minutes.

U know what the best part of this whole thing is? It’s not that I’m beating people senseless, it’s not that I’m taking spells full force at point blank range and shrugging them off, it’s not even that I’m getting tons of honor (finished with 3kish) 300+hk, and like 89 or killing blows no it’s NON of these things.

The best part of this whole fight is simply that I know somewhere several guys were screaming WTF DIE already. How do I know? Because I could see the text in “common language” as several of the guys I’d just killed were yelling it >:)

To make an already long story short we steamrolled (eventually) all the way to van, didn’t kill him cause we made it through the full 500 ally, but my word it was grand.

AV is all about the rush, about the quick kill, about the easy honor. Based on the chatter at the end of the BG as it was littered with:
“best AV EVERY!!!”
“Nice FUKIN job guys”
“FTH”
“FTH”
“FTH”
Blackthought: “BEST HEALS EVER!!!”

So here’s a shout out to all my healer friends out there (ally or horde) bang up job guys n gals.

New VoA boss – Koralon the Flame Watcher

So here’s the set up. I’ve just finished Wintergrasp everyone always needs a tank. I’ve tanked both 10 and 25 man VOA.

I see a:
“LF1m Tank 2 more heals 25 man VOA”

So I pst: “Hey I can tank it. Or off tank whichever” (keep this point in mind as it’s crucial to the story)

I click accept and run into VOA, spec into Tank mode, toss on my gear buff myself up and we’re ready to go. Raid leader says lets get going (he is the other tank btw). So we go. I say who’s my healer? THE RAID LEADER says xyz is, so I toss Vigilance on him and wait for MT to pull the first add...he doesn’t so I do as Agro has already started. The second add comes up and no body picks him up so I taunt, mocking blow and get agro under control. So I self tank the first two adds, no huge feat, heals picked up on the fact that I was in need of heals.

We head into the new boss wing of VOA and again someone agros and I pick up the mob because he’s attacking cloth targets and burning them bad. A quick taunt and he’s mine, we kill it. Then the same situation plays out again. (you might already be noticing a trend.)

We’re at the new boss. A few people know the fight (or have seen the video on the fight) and do a quick relay of info. Nothing to challenging, no dps pumping, nothing explodes to insta-wipe the raid.

Step 1. Tanks stack up to mitigate meteor strike
Step 2. Healers heal tanks and raid
Step 3. DPS kills boss

Key note: stay out of fire, it kills you. (You can take this knowledge with you back to into the real world.)

Simple enough right. How can this possibly go wrong? Oh let me tell you.
Step 1. Ready check
Step 2. “ok go ahead and pull”
Step 3. Blackthought goes down faster than Mrs. Promiscuity 2002.
Step 4. Raidwide wipe.

Ok so let’s review what happened. Well rather let me give you a brief synopsis of the raid chatter.
Raidleader: what happened? Who pulled?
Blackthought: I pulled.
Raid Leader: you’re a tank
Blackthought’s HEALER: Uh yeah I’ve been healing him this whole time
Blackthought: well yeah that’s why I came. I’ve tanked everything up until this point.
Raidleader: Who said you were tanking
Blackthought: You did
Various raid members: ...seriously wtf you said he was tanking
Raidleader: No it’s me and random tank.
Blackthought: well where the hell have you guys been for the first 4 mobs?
Raidleader: I was tanking them.
Blackthought: who’s been healing you
RAID: (SILENCE)
Blackthought: have you NOT noticed you haven’t been taking any damage?
Raidleader: This is stupid either way why did you pull, I ready checked and not everyone was ready.
Misc Raid Member: Dude you said GO!
Raidleader: Nuh uh...
Various raid members: Yes you did. WTF. WTF. OMG. AH CRAP. Yes you did!!!
Raidleader: Nuh uh
(xyz has left the raidgroup)
(ABC Has left the raid group)
Raidleader: this is stooped you guys are all noobs. I’m leaving.
2-5 more members leave the raid group. Raid falls apart

Now normally I would say lets try to draw from this experience. Let’s LEARN from our mistakes, let’s build up on failures so that we may one day achieve that which we strive to succeed in.

But this isn’t normal. This is a special blend of fail. This is a fail that bears no fruit. A fail that is so AWESOMELY fail that to call it fail is to give all other fail moments a bad name...and keep in mind their name is fail.

No this is more than fail this is pure, potent, poisonous NOOBISHNESS. With a healthy side serving of “ignance” (this is not an Uld boss BTW)

So yes, that’s my first run at 25 man VOA with its new boss.
10 man VOA with its new boss went well. I died, no heals on me, we did not wipe. The rest went well. New VoA boss is pie, hot, hard hitting pie.

Season 7 Warrior Arena Gear – New VOA Boss and More

So I’m sure we’ve all seen the new season 7 Gear for Warriors, if you haven’t go check it out (I’ll post picks up when I get home, stupid work filters).
Well let me just say that This set looks bad ass. It’s different from the other sets that had us looking like some streamlined ninja. This stuff is top heavy, full of spike, and just LOOKS imposing. I suspect now more than ever when a truly geared PVP warrior enters the room people will know and they will cower in fear.

Now about GETTING that gear...
Well first things first season 7 requires you to be in a 3v3 or 5v5 team. You can still play 2v2 but the rating on those teams doesn’t apply towards the minimum rating on gear. So in essence play 3v3 or 5v5, nothing else.

I suspect that we’ll be fine in arena IF you can get the gear. The overall but kicking mind blowing damage you’ll be doing should prevent you from getting into to much trouble. Warriors have always done better with better gear and well season 7 relentless gear is...better gear...much much better.

If you can farm for your furious bracers and offset pieces, there are also rings you can get with honor and a new cloak and such that you can get with honor this should help bridge the gap between your non pvp gear and your journey to get relentless. As always I’d save for the weapon first then work at armor which you should be taking a stab at VOA and its new boss. So that’s a quick recap on season 7 relentless warrior gear.

VOA New Boss
Ok so he isn’t TERRIBLY hard, but he hits like a truck being tossed by an even larger truck who was bred for using trucks to hit things hard with...or something like that.

All in all he’s a tank and spank kinda boss. You do need two tanks to basically stack in front of him for his meteor strike. He also does some pretty massive raid damage, but a raid heals should be able to keep people up.

I did manage to off tank it, I also managed to die, BUT we didn’t wipe. Also it wasn’t my fault as MY healer got a lag spike right before a meteor strike. I digress.
I’ll write more about my 25 man VOA experience last night that went a little differently and I’ll be talking about dumbasses mainly because...well they need to finally be addressed.

On to marrowstrike...I love you. You hit hard and kill things for me.
Seriously though if you haven’t farmed you a HTOC weapon you need to. My healer had his account hacked so we decided to go do some BG farming, AV was a gigantic success. I mean gigantic. It’s amazing just how many people you can kill with a warrior and a healer when fighting large groups of people.

If you haven’t noticed this is a summary update of what’s been going on lately. I promise to be back into full swing starting tomorrow.
Our agenda for the week will be as follows.
1. Talk about dumb as raid leaders
2. I will finally add some more to the PVP guide. I’ve been working on some stuff and have enlisted the help of another pvp minded warrior.
3. As I need to do some farming to get my furious offset pieces I will be hitting up Isle of Conquest and will be making an attempt to add some “strategy” to the confusion crap storm that is CoC.

So allow me to welcome myself back lol.